That meme is, as my friend Amy puts it, "Funny. And Not Funny."
That about sums up this bizarro-world we've been living in for the past 5 weeks. The economy is shot, people are financially stressed, kids are home and bored out of their minds, and we've all seen a little too much of our family and too little of our friends and community. By now you've probably noticed it: some days feel completely manageable and some feel like Alexander's Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day mashed up with Groundhog Day.
The unfortunate thing, is that the kids/spouse/roomates have their good days and bad days that don't necessarily coincide with ours. It's not like the little kids in quarantine can really articulate what they're feeling, either. A lot of us have to still be productive at work, while at home, with the new job of managing the kids' school work along with trying to find them things to do after those 90 minutes are up. Add all that to not being able to find any more toilet paper at three stores when you have 2 rolls left! It's enough monotony, pressure, and uncertainty to crush a soul.
We're all riding the waves of grief, anxiety, irritability, apathy, rebellion, compassion, generosity, and restlessness together, at different times. Some days are a wash, others you might feel like "hey, today was a good day and we did OK". Some day the kids will just be a train wreck. Sometimes you will be. Sometimes your spouse or your parents will be. Just come to expect that the highs and lows of emotions are all over the map through this pandemic, and that acknowledging those feelings are the first steps to reducing the actual stress.
I've been thinking about this idea for awhile now, and after this week listening to Brene Brown's podcast, Unlocking Us (which is fabulous). She hosted Dr. Brackett who wrote a book on my wish list called Permission to Feel. I knew I was on the right track.
I know this situation is complex, and everyone's situation (and fears) are different. Big or heavy emotions aren't bad, they're like a road map to our mental health landscape. You're not alone in your hard feelings. You're also not wrong in your hard feelings. But we can't regulate and understand our emotions-or ourselves-without first acknowledging the psychological alarm systems that are going off.
Listening to Brene's voice in the car was soothing after a day when everyone as Just A Little Too Much. It was the right thing for me then. I was sick of noise, decisions, and talking and I just wanted some personal space to think so I could be a human being again when I went back inside. Today was more peaceful and relaxed. Acknowledging what you're feeling may not be a long-term solution to whatever you're experiencing in this pandemic, but it could be a real and honest toe-dip step to reduce stress in the moment. Try to explain to your kids the same things you're telling yourselves: "what I'm feeling isn't wrong, and I'm not the only one who feels this way." It will get better, friends.
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As promised, a few more Fun Things to distract from the hard waves for 15+ minutes:
*Troom Troom - a craft/DIY youtube channel. My daughter has had great success with their craft tutorials, especially the barbie & miniatures
*The Kids Should See This - a weekly (free) email that puts together 6-7 of the most random and incredible videos that are totally appropriate and engaging to kids, from all topics like science experiments to homemade music to experiential art to videos about psychology. My kids NEVER miss a week!
*My Lockdown Diary - if you've got a journaler or artist in the family, they might enjoy using this cool template for a future time capsule!
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