Skip to main content

Strange Fruit



"We all have a secret pain. We all have a tender place. We were born to want more and no I'm not meant to live alone, but this is the life I know." ~ India Arie

I've been reflecting a lot this month on my own, and sometimes, luckily or intentionally, with others. 

It's been a strange month, one that started out overly emotional, and will end with raw emotional. I've run the gamut this month from trying to go slowly, to take care of myself to taking my emotions out on my family, using their proximity as an excuse. Then, just like that, an email came that broke me in half. 

People get bad news every day. This was just too close. It was too hard. Too unfair. No

I've been inside myself reflecting on this maybe a bit too much. I went outside. I folded laundry. I wrote. I pretended not to notice my eyes welling up washing the dishes. This feels stuck, and it feels long, and I want to give it back. This 'another' day, would be one so many of us will never forget. By proxy, I cried and tried to push my prayers toward the middle of the country, up through the wind currents. 

This month, that is usually so celebratory, nostalgic, and warm, is just sitting heavy, and I'm ready to mark the last day of the calendar, while still trying to practice gratitude for the blessings (and there are many) in my own life. A family inviting us to dinner, a day spent with close friends, the gift of a touching story are all things that are 'saving me', as Barbara Brown Taylor writes. 

As I exhale into the Advent season, I pray for comfort for those who mourn, and there are many. If I had to choose a favorite liturgical season (is that even a thing?) Advent would be mine. 

Dark, quiet, reflective, with a Bright Light guiding. The only thing in the night's sky. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How To: DIY Sand/Water Table

How To: Build A Sand/Water Table for Under $30!
Sorry this took me so long to blog, but I had to have a tool list and full instructions before I could do so.
A little history on my love for the sand/water table. I love the idea behind tools for tiny hands, i.e. the Montessori Method, and like to have Lukka 'figure things out for himself', even when he is playing. I try to have the most simple and basic toys available for 3 reasons: a) simple toys generally have less parts, which means less of a hassle for me
b) simple toys inspire way more creativity and imagination than do 'exact replica' toys
c) they are much more aesthetically pleasing to look at, therefore, not making every nook and cranny of our house an eyesore!
I know the last reason is just for me, but it's true. Plastic things don't generally last 1/2 as long as wooden or fabric toys, and they are unattractive. For this reason, I started to look for a wooden sand/water table as opposed to a plastic one …

The Rule of Threes

Costco aftermath
This is what my kitchen looks like for at least an hour after a Costco trip. I haul in everything after an exhausting journey through the busiest store (seemingly) in this country and I just can't do a dang thing more. For an hour. While I get a breather. And eat some obligatory reward chocolate. Eventually I'll get to those piles and everything will be put in it's proper place, but usually it stays like this for that necessary hour. 
                                                                          *** I don't think I'm alone in sensing that our culture has gone hog-wild with unrealistic expectations in just about every department, and I want to tell my friends, and anyone else who will listen, that we can only do so much in a day.  My husband once told me a friend of his pondered the busy-ness of our modern lives and said something to the effect of, "God gives us just enough time in the day to do only the things we need to do." …

17 in 2017 // What Happened? What Didn't?

one of Ani's goals: learning to bake!
This year was a great one--we did SO much as a family and I really think by setting up some 'Things to Do' with the kids in my goal list for 2017, we made them happen rather than thinking we could do them 'someday'. We traveled a lot in 2017; we hit every state on the West Coast including Alaska! We started our 6th year of homeschooling and went a bit rogue in a few subjects like Math. I started and finished a beloved book series with the kids. There were a few things that didn't happen because of circumstances, but almost everything else DID happen, and I'm proud of that! Intentions + action for the win! 

What Happened

*Learn to make pakora and butter chicken (crock pot): This might be cheating but a friend of mine sells Epicure spice blends and they just came out this past year with a pakora packet. It's healthy, fast, gluten-free, and delicious and I'm counting it! I also made the most delicious butter chicken…